Charles Bukowski

I finally finished “Women,” by Bukowski. I told my husband jokingly I think I need a bath after that ride,haha! 

I have read his poetry  and really enjoy it. He is brass and raw and maybe that is why so many are drawn to him. He definitely tells it like it is.

As to his women in the book, I have known a few crazy Lydia’s myself in my lifetime, geeze. 

Sitting here watching “The United States Vs Billie Holiday” such a powerful beautiful movie!

snow in our town

Record cold and snowfall at our home in Oklahoma. We have taken some beautiful pictures. Tomorrow it is supposed to start warming up. 

I think I was about the only one excited to see

the snow! 

Guess it reminds me of my childhood. We would stay outside for hours. My grandma would always have hot chocolate waiting on us when we would come in. 

“Take your shoes off by the door! Get out of those wet things and get over here and warm up. Your hot chocolate is ready.”

Kissing us on the forehead

one of my favorite vintage Valentine’s

Happy Valentine’s Day 2021

 I have been mulling over several manuscripts I have started, put on hold, looked back at, and found boredom again. 

The other night I had a dream and I believe I finally found a voice to create. Everyone always mentions when you hear the voice then you will know. I believe I finally have. 

I wrote it down and realized I actually already had a thousand words. So maybe this time. 

The past year has been draining for me emotionally and physically. Never in my dreams I expected to be a caretaker for my husband. I thought we would have many years together. And I know we will. 

He is such a strong person and has beat everything that has been thrown at him. I am so proud of him. 

He is so much stronger than me. I have been in such a depression over the past months. so many ups and downs, basically there is no other word for it, just it sucks! 

We went on our first real trip after thirteen years of marriage last week. We went to Kansas City, MO from Dallas to see my first daughter and her wife's new baby boy. He was three weeks old and so very precious. 

My daughter is so very happy and it filled my heart with love to see the three of them together. 

My husband and I spent four days there. It snowed everyday we were there and even with the temperatures in the single digits, we super enjoyed watching the snow, seeing the kids and the plane trip. 

I really think we bonded even more than we have been . 

Since we have been home though I have been back to my depression. Depression isn't something to take lightly. Not something you can just get out of. 

But I know life is so short. It is way to short to waste even one minute. 

I am going to force my self to exist. I am going to basically get to it! 

As I sit here and watch the snow fall outside my window I am filled with hope, joy, with a pinch of disgust of the world in which I live. But those later feelings I choose to toss aside. Wish me luck!!